Worth the weight
I am going to do a socially taboo thing here and be the “skinny” girl that brings up my weight issues. Yes, I have them. You may or may not agree as to whether or not they qualify as legit issues, and that’s okay, I get it. Just please hear me out, and please tread lightly on my vulnerability.
I grew up twiggy and awkward… sickly even. My wrists as an 18-year old were smaller than those of most 10 year-old boys. So while I didn’t grow up with insecurities about my weight, let there be no misunderstanding, I was definitely not comfortable in my skin.
Fast forward a few decades… and it’s hard to believe how many mornings I have agonized about which pair of pants (that simultaneously act like Spanx) I could get away with wearing again. Because the other options were no longer options. Most mornings I have avoided the mirror. Most mornings I have started out eating healthy and forcing myself into some form of exercise. And most evenings I have felt like a complete failure. So I would binge, crash and repeat.
I still haven’t lost all the weight, and yet I’m speaking as if this is all in the past… because something more important has changed in the last 3 weeks. (If you want more information – ask me about the 21-day BRAIN detox I’ve been on!) I figured out that the problem wasn’t the number on the scale or even my reflection in the mirror. The problem was that I didn’t know my worth.
Picture the number on your weigh scale.
Now picture that same weight of pure gold.
Now do something that only incredibly intelligent people do – and ask Google how much that’s worth.
Do you believe you are worth that much?
Could you possibly even fathom that you are worth MORE than that?
“You were ransomed…
not with perishable things such as silver or gold,
but with the precious blood of Jesus Christ.”
1 Peter 1:18-19
The problem is, that we are so incredibly wrong about the problem.
It’s not really a weight issue. It’s an identity issue.
I know it’s an identity issue because there are countless of us “skinny twig bitches” that have it and countless Fat Amy’s that don’t. If we really knew how much we were worth, we wouldn’t let any other voice convince us otherwise. We wouldn’t vacillate between binge eating and starving ourselves. We wouldn’t disdain our reflection in the mirror. We wouldn’t settle for jerk-faces that pretended to love us for a while. If we really knew, we would treat our bodies with respect. We would believe we were worth fighting for.
We were fought for and paid for at the highest cost.
So I have changed the way I look at everything…
Like these hips, that grew wider from carrying and birthing two beautiful baby boys… worth every inch.
Like the fact that my dad was a Greek chef and food – the love language he gave me… worth every calorie.
Like the healthy choices I make for my body from this point on… worth every bead of sweat.
My whole life, this entire 33 year package is worth so much more than I have given it credit for.
And your life is too.
So, as we strive to be our best selves let’s also be at peace with the process…
Because, doing it well it is worth the wait.
But more importantly let’s strive to see ourselves as valuable as our Father, Creator and Savior does…
Because we are worth the weight.